Leading up to my appointment with the catheterization lab, I was anxious and stressed. I have never had this done before and the fear of the unknown was great. When I made the appointment, I was reassured that everything would be explained to me before I started. This did not happen. I am always amazed at how much self-educating a patient has to do.
I went in for the procedure last Friday. My appointment was set for 11:45 AM. I was told not to have anything to eat or drink starting at 7 AM. I got up at 6 AM, had a little snack and relied on mint/ice cubes for the rest of the time. Once I got there, I was kept waiting for about an hour. Since I am still going through a major flare and still very sick, I asked if I had a bed to lie down on while I waited. At that point, they were ready to admit me to the prep room. I don't know if other cities are like this but NYC hospitals are like NYC restaurants, you have to keep asking the Maitre D' if your table is ready.
Jim dropped me off in the prep room where a number of nurses took over. I changed into my hospital gown and laid down. The nurses put me on an IV, strapped on the blood pressure monitor, and the heart monitor. One nurse came over to shave me in the groin area where they were going to insert the tubes -- no need -- Lupus/chemo and steroids all ensured that such measure is not necessary, loss of hair was not limited to my head.
I waited another hour or so. At this point, I was crying from the nausea, dizziness and general Lupus pains. It was past 2 PM and still no news of my going in for the procedure. Finally, a nurse came in to let me know that they were ready for me. She explained that I will be lying flat during the procedure and for about 4 hours after that for recovery. I was devastated since it is difficult for me to lie on my back due to the chest pain, nausea, dizziness and headache. I asked if I can chew on mint or gum or ice or ANYTHING during this time. As is the case with hospitals, the answer was "absolutely not, we're afraid of asphyxiation." I told her it sounded like legal talk and I would sign something if it helps. The nurse snapped and said, "it's not legal talk, it's nurse talk." Now, I know they have their concerns but hospital protocols generally are strict, at the expense of the patient. It's also ironclad.
I tried explaining that I have Lupus, that this is something that was not explained to me before and that I just needed mint of something to get through this without feeling the nausea/dizziness. I was exasperated. The nurse, also exasperated, stated that I do not have to go through the procedure if I don't want to. She said, it was my choice. This statement completely broke me and I was left crying even more and saying stuff like -- well, it's not my choice, I don't want to be here, I am too sick for this, but the doctor said I could die, so I am here -- and as I was saying these things, I realized, I had no choice and I had to go through with it. Time was of the essence and I could not put this off. I was not going to feel better in a few weeks. Defeated, I decided to go through with it.
I cried the entire time. They wheeled me into the catheterization lab, where I laid naked on the bed/table. My groin area was cleansed with alcohol and a monitor was placed on my chest and ankle. I was awake the entire time and had to listen to everyone's discussions. This was very reminiscent of when I had to have a C-Section about a year ago. The doctors talked to each other about what was happening ("ok, the tubes are being inserted") and then talked to each other about other things ("hey, can we get some music in here"). You realize, while it's a devastating day for you, it's just another day in the office for them.
Incisions were made in my groin to access an artery for the catheters. Because they numbed the area, I did not feel too much pain. Pressure was added at times and my heart was pumped faster than usual. It was the closest I came to feeling what a heart attack must be like. The procedure lasted about an hour. The pain really came afterwards when I was taken to the recovery room. The nurse took both of the catheters out and applied pressure to the area. I had to lie still for 4 hours after that. The area was incredibly sore, the incision areas burned and I was in general Lupus pain, including nausea, body aches, difficult breathing, etc.
I was finally released at 8pm. I stayed up most of the night from the Lupus pains, aggravated even more from the procedure. This is the problem with Lupus. My body cannot handle the stressors that a normal body might be able to. The bruising from my C-Section lasted almost a year. I wonder how long this will last? At least no infection so far and fingers crossed for the results. Sigh.
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| Picture: Bruising from the heart catheterization and biopsy |
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